I was quite tentative about talking about the proposal I have been working on in the break. Mostly because I was very invested in it. I'd had lots of ideas, but I felt this was the one I MUST do.
I felt encouraged that 1. An idea I felt I needed help with from an artist who had done it, my supervisor put trust in me that we can work it out ourselves. I was capable and 2. An idea I didn't think was my story and needed advice I was encouraged to develop my OWN story. My voice was just as valid and needed. 'Why should they do all the work?' This took the weight off my shoulders. It can't be wrong if its my truth and I am very excited to take ownership of the entire process of the work proposed.
One thing I have to revise (amongst others) is the idea of 'the human condition'. Unfortunately I was using a known construct to contextualise my work, but this makes some uncomfortable - something to do with the pretence that this is the same for all humans. That ANYTHING is the same for all humans, being that it is 'a condition' of being human. This makes sense to me and the purpose of my work, particularly this project, is to contribute to the discussion on the exclusivity in contemporary society (and to criticise it. THAT's my contribution). So I have to rethink that construct and whether I want to perpetuate that, by being part of that club. Im now very excited about something I felt compelled to do but thought impossible in a semester. Lots of research, completing a good draft of the proposal and even mocking up some shots, shooting and compositing them on the weekend. I think just grabbing the camera and just shooting the action will help a lot. I will see shadows and problems that made me reshoot again and again and it will help colour, wardrobe and other compositional aspects.
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